In Western traditions, this can be seen as attention-seeking, distracting from the purpose of the service. Unless the family specifically requests red to symbolize life, renewal, or cultural significance, it is safest to leave this shade in the closet.
Better alternatives: Dark navy, charcoal gray, or muted earth tones all show care without appearing too harsh.
2. Neon or Vibrant Shades
Funerals are not the time for neon pinks, bright yellows, lime greens, or bold oranges. These colors carry connotations of energy, youth, and festivity. While perfect for summer picnics or birthday parties, they feel out of place at a serious event.
Even if you wear them without meaning disrespect, these hues can unintentionally signal that you are not taking the occasion seriously. A neon scarf or brightly patterned tie can seem playful in a setting where others are expressing quiet sympathy.
The purpose of funeral attire is to blend in, not stand out. It’s a way of saying, through clothing, “I am here for you, not to be noticed.”
Better alternatives: Muted pastels, dark browns, or subdued greens can be appropriate. These tones carry warmth without being loud.
3. Shiny Metallics (Gold, Silver, Sequins)
While metallics may not be colors in the traditional sense, they are worth mentioning because of the effect they create. Gold, silver, sequins, and sparkly fabrics catch light and reflect it across a room. At a dinner party or holiday gathering, this might feel glamorous. At a funeral, however, it can feel more like a fashion statement than a gesture of respect.
Even a subtle metallic blouse, shiny handbag, or sequined scarf can shift the tone. This is not the setting for shimmer and glamour—it is a time for restraint, modesty, and compassion.
Better alternatives: Matte fabrics in deep shades of navy, brown, or black. Choose simple textures over flashy finishes.
What You Should Wear Instead
So if red, neon shades, and metallics are out, what should you wear? Fortunately, the rules are straightforward, and classic styles always work well.
- Black remains the safest choice. Across many cultures, black is directly associated with respect at solemn gatherings. A simple black dress, suit, or pair of slacks is timeless.
- Navy, charcoal gray, and deep brown are equally suitable. These colors show consideration while offering options for those who prefer something other than black.
- Simple accessories are key. Modest jewelry, a plain tie, and neutral shoes all maintain the right tone.
- For women: Dresses, skirts, or tailored pantsuits in dark shades. Fabrics should be modest and matte rather than shiny or sheer.
- For men: A dark suit, button-down shirt, and conservative tie. Even if you don’t own a suit, slacks with a collared shirt in muted colors can work.
Think of funeral attire as a way to show unity. By choosing subtle colors and styles, you are joining the family in a shared expression of support.
