When I politely asked my new neighbor to stop sunbathing in bikinis right in front of my teenage son’s window, I never expected her to retaliate by leaving a filthy toilet on my lawn with a sign reading, “FLUSH YOUR OPINION HERE!” I was furious, but I had no idea karma had its own perfect revenge planned.
I’d noticed Shannon was a bit eccentric when she moved in and painted her house purple, then orange, and finally blue. Still, I’m a “live and let live” person. But things changed when she started sunbathing in tiny bikinis—practically a spectacle—directly outside my 15-year-old son Jake’s window.
One day, Jake came into the kitchen, red-faced and pleading, “Mom, can you please do something? I can’t even open my window for fresh air without seeing… that.”
When I peeked out, there was Shannon, lying on a leopard-print lounger, wearing a barely-there bikini that looked more like sequins on string than actual clothing. “Keep your blinds closed, honey,” I said, trying to keep my cool, even as Jake slumped in exasperation, muttering that he was considering moving to the basement.
After days of this, I decided to talk to Shannon. Approaching her was like walking into an episode of Neighbors Gone Wild. I started as politely as I could, “Hey, Shannon. Would you mind moving your sunbathing spot? It’s directly in front of my son’s window, and he’s 15…”
She cut me off with an exaggerated smile. “Are you seriously trying to control where I sunbathe on my property?” She laughed, dismissing me and suggesting I invest in better blinds or even therapy for my son’s “repression.”
Two days later, a grimy toilet bowl sat in the middle of my lawn, with a sign attached: “FLUSH YOUR OPINION HERE!” I knew Shannon had put it there. She sat in her yard looking pleased, calling it “Modern Suburban Discourse” and laughing like she’d just pulled off the prank of the century.
