After some time, he complained about not getting help with his kids and asked me to watch them on Sundays and act as a grandparent. I bluntly told him that he’s the reason he doesn’t have a village to help him, as he burned those bridges himself. He didn’t like that, called me a jerk, and hung up. My husband isn’t sure how to feel but left the decision to me since I’d be the one mainly taking care of the kids because he travels for work a lot.

The poster provided some extra details in the comments

“In his own words, Nick has made it clear that I’m not and never will be his mother. He’s the middle child, and while he never gives examples, he’s always said I’m just ‘too much’ for him. My relationships with the other four kids are great. I believe Nick has realized that he’s isolated himself from the rest of the family.”

“I don’t want to get attached. He might suddenly cut them (the grandkids) off from me. That’s not something I want to go through, and I feel it will happen. Unless our relationship improves, which will take much work, I should stay away for now.”

“I don’t want to be free childcare. If he wants to improve the relationship, start with lunch, not ask me to watch his kids.”